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January 05 2018

...Amalgama ain't got anything to do with purple corn... except that he's been peruvian... or a mighty inka once in a past life:) His career as Polo dates back to 1995 and ended in 2001 when he'd decided to make videos... under his own name (apm) supported by his own creation: de mala gana productions. He kept this pursue until January 2008, when he overdosed of mushrooms. What happened afterwards, you might wanna ask hades... or maybe his sisters at the rld. It may seem as if he's back in the game as the infamous legend he's been becoming lately throughout the streets of gd-city. 

Some say he's lost his mind to the muse that kills the poet. Others claim he's living in a chulpa as a jedi... glad to be detracted from life, without any intention (to leave a mark behind) or purpose... if he ever truly were remembered by others, it'd be as a madman, instead of a helpless soul lost throughout the limits of space... when it kinda makes a little more sense... considering they truly were able to see into his riddled heart, or were endowed with a decent amount of comprehension. Few are able to recognize his face these days... some say he's blond and 1.90 tall. Others might claim they'd seen him around the streets posing as malena belucci, dressed as a foot-loose hot mama. As for his soul, well there isn't much to say about it... except that it doesn't belong to either god or a devil. The possibility for a multinational patent's still pendind, for those that have cash.

If you ever were to meet him in person, don't be intimidated by his eleven smiles. He truly likes to tease others and play around the realm of convention, so it's all probably part of the act...

-Amalgama aka. Allan P. M. Málaga
— amalgama aka. allan malaga
Everyone knows my real name isn't Lou or Dido Starsaw. Neither did I get to see stars or golden rings along the way. Just an old guy that lives across the hallway. Never takes a shower and is always wearing white gloves. Shoots a target like the son of Clint Eastwood and hardly ever cooks a meal. Some may say he's been around here for twenty years already. Others claim he's part of my imagination, a construct of my supposed split-persona. They may affirm that I'm gay and he's my lover; as if that were part of the script. Not exactly what I need right now, besides some inspiration and making my way back into hell, heaven... or somewhere in between, where I belong - far far away from such ridiculous charade. Should I blame it all on a fault in our constellations?

Who knows if it was all indeed meant to happen. Perhaps, the Divine Goddess of Love would know the right analogy to define it. Only been hoping her mildest intentions were in fact sincere.

- Amalgama aka. Allan P. M. Málaga
— amalgama aka. allan malaga

November 30 2017

Life usually goes in circles; what goes around, comes around... one just can't be with the one he loves, or love the one he's with... karma in Roma? Jamaica in coma!!
— amalgama aka. allan malaga

November 28 2017

I hope you'll finally be able to understand what love truly is...
— amalgama aka. allan malaga
They say, I'll be the hopeless Indian that lives on the street, without an id, a past, or anyone that still knows him... just probably nobody who'll dare write about it, and all because I'd been smart and honest enough to see through the 'eternal illusion'. They'll all call me a gay fiend, a real fraud, or even a stalker... perhaps, all for the sake of convention... but, honestly, could you tell me what it is about a lie that cunningly makes it stick to everyone's mind?
— amalgama aka. allan malaga

November 24 2017

Everybody knows that I'll be coming for You, tuff!
— amalgama aka. allan malaga

November 21 2017

I ain't here to save face...
I'm only here to tell the truth about my life.
— amalgama aka. allan malaga

November 20 2017

Amalgama Clay -Sculptures (2016-2017)
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'Red Robin' (2016)  

Crafted at 'De Opstap' in 2016. 

Inspired by the way 'my lover girl-muse' would see me at her auto-biographic play 'Real Love?', back in 2008.
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Sketches for 'Red Robin' (2016)
Reposted bycavebear cavebear
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3-D Sketch for 'Sexo Difuso' (2017)  

Inspired by duality and the "Red Pill" I took about a decade ago, and some mystic encounter with my 'lover-girl muse', back in 2014.
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Amalgama's left hand with 'Sexo Difuso' & Sketches (2017)
Reposted bykapitan69 kapitan69
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Amalgama & 'Sexo Difuso' at 'De Opstap' (2017)

My relationship with my dear other-half has always been subjected to a variety of coincidental encounters and synchronistic misfortunes. For several months, I really thought I could go on living without her sweet memory, but something peculiar had happened within me ever since our last embrace, back on the 3rd of October 2014 at the 'A-Lab'. It was as if we had both switched bodies right then, and from that moment on, an uncontainable craving for sexual sensitivity and thespian play overtook me. The result is an exploration to that occult side of myself I so eagerly had been trying to ignore, each time I shut off in her mighty presence.
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Front-View of 'Sexo Difuso' (2017)

It'd been seven years, since I was hanging out at the RLD - a period of falling and rising, and overcoming my own worst enemy. Those were the days, when street -musicians still filled the darkest alleys with the melody of their hearts, while yours truly could not resist the rhythm, and his need to prove to the entire world that there'd been enough reasons for them to elect him as their "Caelestic Rex".

A tall blonde girl I'd met before, was playing some Balkan-beats on her accordion, along with her American friends. Those over- magnetic tunes would inspire me to put on my maddest hat, and give these JayKay-legs a taste of their well -deserved glory.
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Their music exhilerated each corner of the Oudekerksbrug, as my eclectic moves would both astound and amuse them. The show would be reaching a climax, when the blonde girl with the black hat would talk about a gig she had that evening at the 'A-Lab' in Amsterdam-Noord, inviting me to join later on. She probably thought I would enjoy shuffling my feet, till the late -hours.
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Two and a half -hours later, I arrived at the party. My eyes were looking for some action, while my head would be open to suggestions. As if predicted by fate, I entered the patio, where my soul was struck by a sacred apparition. 

The girl I'd been wishing to meet again for the last six and a half -years, since our last encounter, was standing by the door, while all I could do was feel the speeded stance of my heart increasing. I don't know why, but I needed to face myself in the mirror, before I could face her again.
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Back-View of 'Sexo Difuso' (2017)

Two steps away from her, I said "How ya doin'?", as if meeting her were just another coincidental encounter. She didn't seem that surprised to see me, unlike the last time we'd seen each other at one of her theatre -plays, but then again, throughout the last twelve years, it'd always been as if we could see into each other's minds.
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We found a corner, where we could be alone and talk about what we'd been through, ever since. She asked me what I was doing there, that evening, with a sceptical flair. I told her, I came for the music, perhaps even a little dance. She said she'd been invited by her friend Caster, who hosted the event. We had a few beers together and watched the show, when she gave me the kind of news I wasn't expecting.

She told me she was getting married the next year, leaving any further details behind. My heart was broken, but somewhere down the escape to reconciliation, I was pleased to hear she'd finally found happiness. I congratulated and hugged her, like we'd always been doing, throughout each of our memorable encounters. This time, my arms had trouble letting go, as if this would be our final chance to show how much we truly cared for each other.
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Side-View of 'Sexo Difuso' (2017)

It would've perhaps been a little more pragmatic, if that hug had been sealed with a passionate kiss, or if I'd left the scene that night with something else than her number. The truth is that I was speechless, after hearing the "good news". My eyes, however, wouldn't allow for me to evade her gaze for the rest of the evening.

We watched the spectacle together for another few hours, until she was approached by her thespian colleages. I felt a little out of place, and told her I had to go. She asked me if I could stay a little longer, but a broken heart would compell me to decline.

I don't know why I was being such an asshole, why I had to shy away from her friends, and just wouldn't be able to play another role than that of the forsaken Jesus. I resented our past and how all along, I'd deny myself the right to love in return; how I'd walk away from her all those years, unable to reciprocate her feelings in the same manner. Most of all, I regretted not knowing how to tell her that I too loved her, indeed. 
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'Sexo Difuso' & Fine White Chamotte Pieces

We all make mistakes in life, but the worst ones are those we can't forgive ourselves for; solid dreams we saw being crushed, the faith we disregarded and those things we didn't ever get to say to the ones we've truly loved. 

We all wished we'd done things differently, and perhaps in a more adequate manner, that we'd known the things we do now, back then. 

One could hate himself for these things, and drown in his own misery. 

The bottom-line perhaps is, that it's insane to live in regret and forget about tomorrow. 

What's left for us to do, than wait for a next chance and hope we're wise enough to make up for all those mistakes in the future?
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