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amalgama
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Side-View of 'Sexo Difuso' (2017)

It would've perhaps been a little more pragmatic, if that hug had been sealed with a passionate kiss, or if I'd left the scene that night with something else than her number. The truth is that I was speechless, after hearing the "good news". My eyes, however, wouldn't allow for me to evade her gaze for the rest of the evening.

We watched the spectacle together for another few hours, until she was approached by her thespian colleages. I felt a little out of place, and told her I had to go. She asked me if I could stay a little longer, but a broken heart would compell me to decline.

I don't know why I was being such an asshole, why I had to shy away from her friends, and just wouldn't be able to play another role than that of the forsaken Jesus. I resented our past and how all along, I'd deny myself the right to love in return; how I'd walk away from her all those years, unable to reciprocate her feelings in the same manner. Most of all, I regretted not knowing how to tell her that I too loved her, indeed. 

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Schweinderl